Nebraska Football Tailgate Talk: Why not at Wisconsin?

The Nebraska Football team is going to try for its sixth win for a third straight week. And why shouldn’t they get it at a place they never win?

Our Nebraska Cornhuskers compete with those Wisconsin Badgers Saturday night at Camp Randall for the Freedom Trophy. Game is at 6:30, televised on NBC.  Chilly football weather this week.

This is also the last road game for Nebraska Football and it’s another Senior Day for our opponent. Great. I didn’t even know there was a trophy for this one. Perhaps because Nebraska has never had it.

Last week felt like a bad episode of Oprah Winfrey Holiday week — YOU get an interception, and YOU throw an interception, and YOU throw an interception! Husker Quarterbacks were dropping faster than the brown furry things in WHACK-A-MOLE.

Whoever is not wearing their lucky shirt, or wearing one that isn’t lucky, TAKE IT OFF and go shopping! I’ve ordered some voodoo bones and things from my Louisiana peeps but I’m not sure it will be here before gametime. It’s unreal the amount of evil turnover bad luck the Huskers quarterbacks have endured.

There has to be a correlation with the behavior and consequences if it’s this much of an epidemic. There isn’t a word for how frustrated Husker Nation is right now. Me, included.

It’s almost as if Nebraska Football Defensive Coordinator Tony White embodies “the Hope and Promise” (cue trumpet music) of a what Husker football and winning season could be, but Marcus Satterfield is the harsh, bitter reality of “we ain’t even close yet.”

In the last 2 games, zero passing touchdowns for Big Red, 7 turnovers, lost by 3 points, twice. Let. That. Sink. In. Not only that, according to HC Matt Rhule, the OC isn’t going anywhere soon. Rhule defended him first thing in his press conference this week, which is admirable.

His best quote was basically (paraphrase) – how has firing people worked out in the past?  Well, firing Frost got us Rhule so I’m ok with it. And unless you’re a weatherman, or former Texas A&M Jimbo Fisher who is getting paid $75 million for being crappy, there should be consequences for being bad at your job functions. Have Satterfield at least give Tony White $500,000 of his salary. HE’S earned it.

Argue with me all you want, but Satterfield’s #1 job is to get us a quarterback. (insert gameshow buzzer here). Then have a solid backup plan if your QB goes down in a league and style of play where they will get hit often by good defenses. (swing and a miss!).

Soooo while we’ve all been warned that there will be no pink slips, Satterfield gets a pass purely on the fact that there were a lot of injuries on the offense. Fine. Whatever.

Moving on, I want to win this game. I wanted to win the last 2. I want the Huskers to be bowl eligible. I want the offensive staff to have to carry the defensive players’ luggage onto the plane and into their hotel rooms.

I don’t think I’m alone for most of those desires. This week there are even written reminders placed around the Husker locker room about how Nebraska Football has been owned by Wisconsin in this series. There couldn’t be a better time for Big Red to burn brighter. Fortunately for Nebraska, this year isn’t your normal Badger season.

Wisconsin, under new head coach Luke Fickell, is 5-5, and 3-4 in the division just like Nebraska. They are searching for bowl eligibility too. They are struggling on offense. A lot of fans are unhappy with and critical of their OC, Phil Longo.

They have a good running back who will be a gametime decision in Braelon Allen. Badgers were sha-lacked by Northwestern last week, 24-10. Yes, seriously. On the bright side for the Huskers, our Blackshirts are better at stopping the run than Wiscy. Huskers ranked #4 nationally in that category.

Badgers also trapped themselves a transfer Co-Red-vid-shirt Senior Quarterback, Tanner Mordecai (may be 28 years old for all I know) who played 3 years at Oklahoma, and then 2 years at SMU before landing up north. He has 3 interceptions on the year and he usually averages around a 62% passing rate. I’m looking for the Nebraska Football defense to put some hurt on him and get him uncomfortable.

As for the Huskers, hopefully, Chubba Purdy has brushed up on more plays and realizes that it’s his chance to win our hearts and a bowl bid. After listening to the coaches this week, I suspect we see both Sims and Purdy behind center. Although gritty guy, Heinrich Haarburg will travel, it’s doubtful they make him run on that injured ankle. This gameplan sounds worse than going to Thanksgiving at your in-laws… for the entire weekend.

Thanksgiving at the in-laws is a good transition for my evening cocktail recipe for this week’s game. I thought of it sitting helpless in traffic, much like these last two games. I call it Rhule-aid. Cranberry juice for the red color. Vodka because I’m “Russian” to buy a plane ticket to a bowl game if we win. Triple Sec in honor of last week’s 3 interceptions. And a shot of Southern Comfort because we need some comforting after this season and something to keep you warm if you are in Madison for a night game. 1 ounce of Vodka and SoCo, 1/2 shot of triple sec and 4 ounces of Cranberry. Enjoy!

I’d like to say these are the keys for Nebraska Football this week and impart some winning wisdom, but this season has just been obnoxious. It’s like having a different team each week to report upon, and in non-conference games because no one is the same week to week and you NEVER know what to expect. Looking into my voodoo crystal (judge all you want, I’ll try anything at this point to go to Las Vegas for a bowl game) I think the keys for this game are the same as before and that means winning the turnover margin. No, seriously. Score some DAMN points when we are in the RED zone, and rip the life from their souls on defense.

I’m doing my part and will be watching the game with my chicken bones and new lucky shirt. Send me your photos @Kelian_NE on the twitter (X) and as always, GO BIG RED!